stress – Restoring Balance

What Nourishes You?

Sunshine — Photo by Micah Hallahan on Unsplash

We humans are great at getting things done, accomplishing goals, and checking items off the to-do list. We hustle, work hard, and we’re always busy.

We put off the things we enjoy saying we’ll do them later “when things calm down.”

But life doesn’t work that way. Life is always happening. Things always need doing. And you can easily find yourself five or ten years down the road burnt out, wanting to escape your life, and wondering when the last time was that you did anything fun.

I’m assisting with a mindfulness course this semester, and in this week’s class, we did an exercise I think you might find eye-opening:

Grab a piece of paper and a pen. You could do this as a thought exercise, but you’ll find it more powerful to see on paper.
Write down all the activities you do in a typical day.
Look at each item and ask yourself: “Does this nourish, energize, or center me?” If so, put a ‘+’ next to it. Then ask “Does this make me feel worn out, tense, or depleted?” and put a ‘-’ next to the ones that make you feel that way. Some items will be neutral, and you can give them a ‘0’. Some will depend on the day, so you can write ‘it depends’ next to those.
Take in the whole list. Does it seem balanced between nourishing and depleting activities? Do you do at least one thing a day that nourishes you? Is there a way you can make the “it depends” activities more consistently nourishing?

This exercise is not meant as an opportunity to beat yourself up. Life can be so demanding and fast paced that sometimes we need to take a step back and look at what we’re doing and ask if this is the life we truly want.

So, when’s the last time you did something just for the pure joy of doing it? What are those things that nourish you?

stress, yoga

How to Start Listening to Your Body

Woman meditating next to water — Image by Shahariar Lenin from Pixabay

We all have a sense called interoception. It’s the perception of the internal state of the body.

Our bodies send information to the brain and our brains process that information and sense what’s going on in the body. It’s how we can tell our bladder is full or we’re hungry.

When you feel your heartbeat speed up or you feel butterflies in your stomach, you know your’re nervous. Your body is always talking to you. These body-produced sensations are its way of getting your attention.

And we can then manage how we feel by taking action on these body signals. We feel hungry, so we eat. Easy, right?

Many times, the problem can be that we spend so much time in our heads thinking about everything we need to get done today and reliving all the tiny mistakes we’ve made in the past that we forget we even have a body.

So we don’t recognize these messages or we just downright ignore them. And when we don’t respond to these messages, it leads to pain, stress, and frustration.

Awareness is the first step. You can practice a simple Body Scan to flex that muscle of noticing the signals your body is sending:

Find a quite place to sit or lie down.
Close your eyes, and starting at your feet, bring your awareness to each area of your body.
For each area, without judgement, notice what you feel: cold or warm, tightness or ease. Notice whatever is present in that area of the body. No need to change anything. Just notice.
When you’re ready, move your attention to the next area. And repeat until you’ve scanned your whole body.

Listening to your body is a skill you can develop over time. To start building that muscle, you might commit to this practice every day for a week. Then at the end of the week, evaluate.

Have you noticed any changes? Are you more aware of how you’re feeling moment-to-moment?

stress

Are you holding your breath?

amy-treasure — Photo by Amy Treasure on Unsplash

Have you ever found yourself holding your breath when you are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated?

When we are stressed, our breathing becomes short and shallow, and we may hold our breath. This reinforces our “fight or flight” stress response. When we come back to our breath and take slow, steady breaths, we trigger our body’s parasympathetic nervous system, and we “rest and digest.” It signals our bodies that it’s okay to calm down and relax.

Let’s face it, when you’re in the moment, completely overwhelmed and stressed, it’s hard to think about anything else. But practicing a simple breathing technique can act as a reset.

Next time you catch yourself holding your breath or feeling overwhelmed, try simply bringing your awareness to the sensations your breath creates as it moves in and out of your body.

You can also try the following practice:

Inhale slowly for the count of 4
Exhale slowly for the count of 8
Notice the space in between the inhalation and exhalation
Repeat until you begin to calm down

Breathing happens so naturally it’s something we don’t even think about. How about you? Do you ever catch yourself holding your breath?

stress

No-Energy-Required Self-Care

Cat_bed — Image by Milada Vigerova from Pixabay

My massage clients tell me over and over again that they would take better care of themselves, but they don’t have the time or the energy.

Last week, we talked about how to find time to do that thing you really want to do. So, you’ve found 10 minutes, but you’re exhausted.

Might as well just scroll through Facebook? But you know that’s not going to help.

My favorite self care for when you have no energy, but you want to do something that will actually nourish you is to just lie on the ground*. In yoga, we call this Savasana.

Allow your legs to fall open to the side**.

Arms at the side. Palms facing up.

Tuck the chin slightly to lengthen the back of the neck.

Close your eyes.

Allow your body to be heavy. Completely supported by the Earth beneath you.

Do nothing. Just be. For as long as you are able.

When you are ready to come out of the pose, moving slowly:

Reach your arms over head for a full body stretch.

Hug your knees into chest.

Roll to the right side.

Push up to a comfortable seat with the eyes still closed.

Take a deep breath in.

Sigh it out. Ahhh.

*If you have difficulty getting up and down off the ground, no worries. You can practice in a chair that supports your back, neck, and head.

**If you have low back pain, try bending the knees and placing the feet flat on the floor. Walk the feet out a bit wider than your hips. Allow the knees to fall toward each other. If you experience pain in the pose, slowly come out of the pose and consult with your yoga teacher or medical professional.

stress

The Secret to Finding Time

Watch_sand — Image by annca from Pixabay

There’s something you really wanna do.

Spend more quality time with your family.

Meditate everyday.

Write your first book.

But you just don’t have time.

You would do all these amazing things to improve your life, but you’re just too busy doing other things.

I’m gonna share with you the secret to finding time to do that thing you really wanna do.

When you read it, it might seem like you already know it. You may have already heard it (maybe many times), but you don’t actually know it. You’re not living it. Not actually practicing it. Not embodying it consistently. And can you actually know something if you’ve never experienced it?

So here it is.

Prioritizing the things that are important to you is the only way to find time for them.

Ask yourself: what’s really important to me?

I know you’re busy and it’s hard to actually set aside a moment to think about these things. But if you don’t think about what you actually want, you’re at risk of letting your life pass you by doing things that don’t matter.

May I offer a suggestion? The next time you find yourself saying “I would do this thing, but I’m just too busy,” try trading it for “that’s not a priority for me right now.” See how that feels.

Does it ring true? Then maybe you don’t really want to do that thing.

Does it feel uncomfortable to say that this thing isn’t a priority? Then maybe it’s time to set aside some non-negotiable time to do that thing.

I say “non-negotiable” because it’s not enough to set aside the time if you constantly put it off whenever something else comes up. Things out of your control are always going to come up. And when they do, you get to ask yourself “is this a priority for me right now?”

Maybe it’s not that you can’t find the time, it’s that you won’t find the time.

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stress

Always Busy?

Busy city street — Photo by mauro mora on Unsplash

You’re constantly stressed.

Crunched for time.

Your to-do list is never-ending.

Always thinking ‘when my kids are older, when this big project at work is over, or when they hire more help at the office, then I can actually take care of myself.’

You know there’s got to be more to life than feeling exhausted and overwhelmed all the time. You probably even have ideas on how to deal with your burnout. But you never have time or energy to follow through on your good intentions.

Our culture values Busy. We multi-task like our life’s at stake, all in the name of getting everything done. Like, if we do enough things, we’ll prove we’re good enough. Then we’ll deserve to take a break, spend quality time with our loved ones, or follow our dreams.

Your life is at stake.

As Annie Dillard has said: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

Most folks unconsciously default to Being Busy.

Day after day.

Year after year.

Living on autopilot.

Racing around trying to get all the things done. And what do you get for all that effort? Exhaustion. Burnout. You work hard all day only to come home and collapse on your couch and mindlessly stare at your phone or your TV, only to get up and do it all again tomorrow!

Is that how you want to spend your time, your life?

What if you consciously chose how to spend your time?

What if instead of getting stuck in the drudgery, you chose something different?

Busy is not a badge of honor. Your being “good enough” is not dependent on you doing all-the-things for all-the-people.

It’s okay to not be Busy.

I realize some folks don’t have many choices in life. But many others are living their life like they’re trapped by their circumstances when they actually do have a choice. If you’re reading this, you’re likely lucky enough to be in the position to make choices.

So now you have a choice to make: You can choose to continue being buried under Busy or you can choose Ease.

It’s a choice you get to make each and every day.

It’s a simple shift, but not easy.

I know it sounds crazy to actually take time for yourself when it feels like you don’t have a moment to spare. But when you step up and take the time, this weird time warp thing happens where you actually get more done and it feels like you have more time.

I know. I used to be Queen of Busy. But when I started to show up for myself and made taking care of me non-negotiable (not something I’d do “if I had time”), things started to shift. I’ll share some of my favorite tools and tips in the coming weeks.

But for now, start to take note of how you’re spending your time.

Are you on autopilot? Or are you living your life with intention?

Keep Reading: The Secret to Finding Time

stress

Unplug to Recharge

Do you remember a time when the internet wasn’t a thing and no one had a cell phone? I have to think back a ways, but when I was growing up it wasn’t common to have access to the internet at home.

And when we did get internet at home, it was the dial-up kind where you had to actually wait for it to connect.

I remember resisting the smart-phone craze for quite some time.

But now, it seems we’re practically all connected 24/7.

And that’s amazing. I’ve met wonderful people that I’d have never met otherwise. We have access to so much knowledge at our fingertips. You can learn about pretty much anything from a Google search.

But it can also be quite distracting. I’ll hop on my phone to check my email, then it’s an hour later and I’ve been mindlessly scrolling through Facebook. What happened to my weekend?

And it can be kind of stressful, feeling like you always have to be connected. Like if you aren’t, you’re missing out on something.

This past week, I went on a road trip with my partner. He wanted to go somewhere where it was almost zero-dark so he could explore the night sky with his telescope (and wow, that was amazing. I had no idea there were so many stars we couldn’t see due to light pollution!).

We ended up in the middle of a desert park in Utah several miles from civilization.

When we got out of our car, we were both struck by the complete silence. It was wild. Even living in a small town like Champaign, there is so much noise in the background.

Being in the middle of nowhere also meant unplugging from everything for 2 days.

No phone ringing. No email alerts. No texts. No distractions from actually living and enjoying life.

It was so energizing to be away from everything. All the conveniences of modern life can be amazing and helpful, but it can also be easy to spend your time distracted.

Do you think you could disconnect from your smartphone for an afternoon, a day, a week? How much more time might you have to do the things that really matter to you?

stress

Is anything really stressful?

Many in our society feel we’re under constant stress. We often complain about our stressful job, boss, or family obligations. It seems life is just plain stressful.

And all this stress leads to health problems, some seemingly minor (like your sore neck), some life threatening (like heart attacks and stroke).

Stress is a serious problem. Life is stressful, so what can you do about it?

But is life stressful?

I’ve been wondering lately if anything is actually inherently stressful.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, stress is a “state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.”

So it seems our life situations are not stressful, but demanding. And it’s our reaction to all those demands that causes stress. I think this is an important distinction. If your job is stressful, there’s probably not a whole lot you can change to make it less stressful. You have no choice in the matter! You wind up irritable, wishing for the weekend, and you always have a headache. Under this stress, day after day, year after year, you may develop a serious health condition.

On the other hand, if your job is demanding, you can choose how you respond to those demands. You have power in this situation.

If you asked me a year ago why I got into Massage Therapy as a career, I would have said I had a very stressful job, and I actually injured my wrists typing away frantically, trying to get all of my work done. I felt trapped, like I was being buried by an endless mountain of things to do. When I was at home, I would often be distracted thinking about all the work I didn’t get done the day before. I thought I could escape my stress by getting a less stressful job.

But the thing is, life is demanding, and you can’t just escape it. The truth is I had a serious lack of healthy boundaries and wasn’t equipped to handle my very demanding job. And those same types of things that caused me stress in my old job continued causing stress in my life until I actually took a look at how I was reacting to things.

Stress is very real and can affect the quality of your life. How might things change if you re-framed your stressful situation as a demanding situation and got curious about how to manage the demands?

It’s a simple shift, but I know it’s not easy. The good news is you don’t have to go it alone. I love supporting people who KNOW they need to take better care of themselves to actually do it, because I’ve been there. I know that frustration. But mostly, I truly believe the world needs you to be your best. We need you to show up and be the most amazing version of you — not just another exhausted person dragging yourself through life.

If you’d like to explore what support might look like for you, complete the form below and I’ll be in touch.

stress

The Real Reason Your Self Care is Failing You

I was talking to another Massage Therapist the other day, and she mentioned the problem of à la carte self care and why it doesn’t work. It really struck a nerve with me.

She was talking about how you’ll take this yoga class over here, you’ll drink a green smoothie today, or you’ll go for a run this weekend.

The problem isn’t with any of those things. The problem is you’ll go to yoga class if you’re not too tired after work, you’ll meditate if you get up early enough, you’ll have a healthy dinner if you have time to go to the store.

The real problem is you’re half-assing you’re self care.

So you’re always tired, there’s never enough time, and being stressed is a way of life.

You know you would feel better if you exercised more often, went to sleep at a decent hour, and ate more spinach. But you’re not doing those things.

It’s not your fault.

Our culture values busy-ness. We check our email while we’re eating lunch, we skip vacations, we wear Busy like it’s a badge of honor, all in the name of being productive. Like, if we do enough, we’ll deserve to take some much needed rest. We’ll have earned that vacation!

But the to-do list never ends. And we wind up sleep-deprived, irritable, and sick.

Think about it. When you ask someone how they are, how often do they say they’re stressed, busy, and/or tired?

What do you say when someone asks how you are? Overwhelmed, stressed-out, just trying to make it to Friday?

Is that what you want out of your life?

I get it. It’s hard. It seems like that’s just the way it is, like there is no other way to be.

Before I became a Massage Therapist, I had a job I found quite stressful. I used to always be “on.” When I was at work, I was hustling, trying to get all the things done. Rushing around trying to attend to everything in my inbox, constantly checking my email or voicemail to make sure I hadn’t missed anything, working through lunch.

When I was at home, I was constantly thinking about all of the things I still needed to get done at work. And vacation? Forget about it! When I actually did take a vacation, I would be so distracted thinking about all of the work piling up for me when I got back that I couldn’t enjoy myself.

When folks asked how I was, I’d say “it’s almost Friday.” And one of my coworkers would always say “it’s funny how we wish our lives away.” I’d laugh it off. But about the millionth time he said it, it really landed.

I was wishing my life away.

Like, if I worked hard enough, one day in the distant future, I would deserve to live my life for me.

I am forever grateful that he kept asking that question.

So, I’m asking you. Can you relate?

More often than not, do you wake up in the morning and just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head for just 5 more minutes, because you were thinking about everything you had to get done and couldn’t sleep?
Do you drag yourself out of bed because everyone is counting on you? Gulp down down some coffee. Stuff some food in your mouth. Maybe it was Oreos? Then off to work!
Do you feel like you’re just rushing around all day until you get home, exhausted but unable to turn your mind “off?”
Do you ever find yourself saying “I just need to make it to Friday, or vacation, or retirement?”
Are you wishing your life away?

Do you want more than that from your life?

What if you could live a life you actually want?

Imagine if you woke up bursting with energy, excited for the day ahead. What would that be like? How would it affect the people around you, the folks you care about most?

No, really— take a moment to think about what that would be like.

What do you actually want your life to be like?

Are you ready to commit fiercely to you and living that life— not just dragging yourself through to some imaginary finish line?

If the answer is YES!, let’s talk. Click here to schedule a time to chat.

I love supporting people who KNOW they need to take better care of themselves to actually do it because I’ve been there. I know that pain. And I also know what happens when you choose you.

On the call, we’ll talk about what stress looks like for you, in your life. But we’ll also look at what your goals are, what you want, and what’s possible for you when you say yes to you. I want to help you find clarity and look at what those next steps might be for you. And if it feels like I might be able to help you to get there, I might talk with you about how I can support you in making that happen.

It’s not your fault you’re stuck in this constant cycle of feeling stressed, exhausted, and run-down, but it is your choice if you continue to stay there.

Book your call now

About Karyn

Karyn_square300 In her years working as a massage therapist (and as a human actually dealing with stress), Karyn noticed just how many of us live our lives in a constant state of stress. Like it’s just how we are. We think we just need to get rid of that horrible boss, finish that huge project, or just make it to Friday, and then we’ll live the good life.

Karyn uses a combination of massage, yoga, and coaching to help folks break this cycle and learn to prioritize themselves so they can work with purpose, feel connected to the people they love, and actually feel present for their life.

stress, yoga

Move More, Feel Better

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you probably already know that!

We as a culture are pretty sedentary. We sit at computers for work or school. Then we sit and binge Netflix at home.

Maybe we’ll go for a walk or head to our favorite local yoga class. Afterward we feel sooo good! We should do that more often! But it’s hard to get into the habit.

And even when we get into the habit, if we get sick or busy and get out of the habit, it can feel like a monumentally huge task to get started again.

I totally get it! I completely let my daily movement practice fall by the wayside over the holiday season.

I tried to force it. I know better. I should be doing yoga everyday.

You probably already know this too, but Should-ing yourself does NOT work!

So I went back to basics. I know I feel better when I move more.

It makes me feel free. And freedom is one of the things I value most in my life.

So when I don’t feel like doing anything, curled up on my couch, hibernating (which feels great and cozy in the moment, but doesn’t make me feel great in the long run), I started asking, what is one thing I can do today that will make me feel more free? And then I did it.

And it felt so amazing! I felt so free and open to possibilities.

And I keep doing it everyday. All it takes is one small thing.

I’d love to know, do you have a daily movement practice? If not, what’s got you stuck? (Responses will only be seen by Karyn and will NOT be posted publicly):